You don't have a fixed personality

How can I make this blog as useful as possible? This is a question I ask myself every time I write an article. Last week, I returned from my two-month journey through the Philippines. With mixed feelings, I slowly reacclimatized to the daily routine filled with numerous tasks. Among other things, I spend a lot of time in the car. I love to spend this time with audiobooks, to educate myself further or to get inspired. One of my favorite books is "Fearless" and "Reinventing Yourself" by Steve Chandler. Especially the book "Reinventing Yourself" had a great influence on my life. Here, I write about one of my most important insights.

What if I told you that you don't have a fixed personality? What if you could choose who you want to be at any time? When I first read about this idea, I was confused. No fixed personality? Shouldn't I just be myself? I can choose who I am, instead of just being myself? This thought scared me, and to be honest, it took me a few days to digest it. Ultimately, a thought came to me that helped me change my perspective.

A husband who abuses his wife is simply himself. A father who hits his children is simply himself. Lisa, who spends too much money and therefore constantly suffers from financial problems, is simply herself. My neighbor, who can't set boundaries and is constantly being taken advantage of, is simply herself. Your boss who constantly shouts at you and doesn't understand you is simply himself. Wouldn't it be useful if these people could choose to be someone else? But all these people believe in a fixed personality. "I can't help it, that's just how I am." The perfect excuse to continue living a miserable life. But what if we've misunderstood something there?

In his book "Reinventing Yourself," Steve Chandler claims that we don't have fixed personalities. We are not nouns but verbs, he writes in his book. We can choose at any time what we do. By allowing the thought that you are not what you think you are but simply doing things and mistakenly identifying with them, you can choose to be someone else. Quite simply, by doing something else.

Once I accepted this thought, I began to make friends with it. If I now believe I can't do something, I ask myself who I need to be to do it. And then I ask myself how would that person act? What needs to happen for me to act the same way?

Sometimes we just need to climb the ladder of ourselves. Think a better thought. A thought that gives you more energy. Byron Katie describes in her book "Loving What Is" how questioning thoughts can lift your mood. The ladder of ourselves is not to be found outside. Not people, circumstances, or conditions are responsible for how we feel, but the thoughts within us.

We always have the choice to be someone else. Sometimes we just need to make a decision and do something else. Take responsibility for our lives and how we feel. Go the extra mile and not expect someone to come and save us. If you accept that you are the only person who can change something, something can change. With your mind, you can achieve more than you ever thought possible. Show enthusiasm and decide to be someone else. If you ask me what I am, I will answer you: "I am potential. Potential to be anything I want to be."